Ill Mature When Im Dead

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 0425238989
Total Pages : 290 pages
Book Rating : 4.81/5 ( download)

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Download or read book I'll Mature When I'm Dead written by Dave Barry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-04-05 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times bestseller from "the funniest man in America" (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier—and a lot funnier. Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process—with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Penguin Group
ISBN 13 : 0425272842
Total Pages : 241 pages
Book Rating : 4.48/5 ( download)

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Download or read book You Can Date Boys When You're Forty written by Dave Barry and published by Penguin Group. This book was released on 2015-03-03 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If there’s one thing that New York Times bestselling author and Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Dave Barry is an expert on, it’s raising a daughter. …which means he’s not an expert on much considering the breadth of his knowledge on that subject fills only a single chapter of a book. However, what Dave Barry is good at is giving unsolicited advice on topics he’s definitively not an expert on. In fact, he now has an entire book filled with guidance on things he knows nothing about, including: surviving in the wild, wooing women, cremation, maintaining a scintillating conversation, Justin Bieber, the U.S. Postal Service, enduring the TSA, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and, most obviously, being a professional author. With trademark wit and unmatched insight into the insanity of everyday life, Dave Barry presents a series of hilarious, never-before-published essays on the trials and tribulations of living and laughing in the modern age.

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Crown Archetype
ISBN 13 : 0307758729
Total Pages : 306 pages
Book Rating : 4.29/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Dave Barry Talks Back written by Dave Barry and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2010-12-29 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Yet another collection of Barry wit and wisdom by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and the author of Dave Barry Turns 40.

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Ballantine Books
ISBN 13 : 0449912302
Total Pages : 226 pages
Book Rating : 4.00/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Dave Barry in Cyberspace written by Dave Barry and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1997-09-23 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "RELENTLESSLY FUNNY . . . BARRY SHINES." --People A self-professed computer geek who actually does Windows 95, bestselling humorist Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious hard drive via the information superhighway--and into the very heart of cyberspace, asking the provocative question: If God had wanted us to be concise, why give us so many fonts? Inside you'll find juicy bytes on How to Buy and Set Up a Computer; Step One: Get Valium Nerdstock in the Desert; Or: Bill Gates Is Elvis Software: Making Your Computer Come Alive So It Can Attack You Word Processing: How to Press an Enormous Number of Keys Without Ever Actually Writing Anything Selected Web Sites, including Cursing in Swedish, Deformed Frog Pictures, and The Toilets of Melbourne, Australia And much, much more! "VERY FUNNY . . . After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of the book as a kind of screen saver for your brain." --New York Times Book Review

Author : Matt Haig
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 0525559493
Total Pages : 305 pages
Book Rating : 4.98/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Midnight Library written by Matt Haig and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2023-05-09 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times bestselling WORLDWIDE phenomenon Winner of the Goodreads Choice Award for Fiction | A Good Morning America Book Club Pick | Independent (London) Ten Best Books of the Year "A feel-good book guaranteed to lift your spirits."—The Washington Post The dazzling reader-favorite about the choices that go into a life well lived, from the acclaimed author of How To Stop Time and The Comfort Book. Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better? In The Midnight Library, Matt Haig's enchanting blockbuster novel, Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. Faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, realizing her dreams of becoming a glaciologist; she must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place.

Author : Allie Brosh
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1451666187
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.82/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Hyperbole and a Half written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Crown
ISBN 13 : 0307351009
Total Pages : 242 pages
Book Rating : 4.05/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Dave Barry's Money Secrets written by Dave Barry and published by Crown. This book was released on 2006-12-26 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: • How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler • Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money • Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser • How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider • An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel) • Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate • How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating • Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one • How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any • Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death • And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies. What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income? 1. More than $50,000. 2. Less than $50,000. 3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe? 1. Less than $10,000. 2. More than $10,000. 3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio? 1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities. 2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks. 3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor? 1. The amount of return. 2. The degree of risk. 3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement? 1. Savings. 2. Social security. 3. Sale of kidneys. —from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book” Also available as a Crown eBook.

Author : Dave Barry
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 0425280144
Total Pages : 242 pages
Book Rating : 4.40/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster) written by Dave Barry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2016-09-06 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now in paperback from the Pulitzer Prize winner, the hilarious New York Times–bestselling exploration of what generations can teach one another—or not. During the course of his life, Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom, and he is eager to pass it on. Among other brilliant, brand-new pieces, Dave shares home truths with his new grandson and his daughter Sophie; explores the hometown of his youth, where all the parents seemed to be having un-Mad Men–like fun; and dives into firsthand accounts of the soccer craziness of Brazil and the just plain crazy craziness of Vladimir Putin’s Russia.

Author : Robinne Lee
Publisher : St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN 13 : 1250125901
Total Pages : 385 pages
Book Rating : 4.03/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Idea of You written by Robinne Lee and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2017-06-13 with total page 385 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Solène Marchand begins an impassioned affair with a member of her daughter’s favorite boy band.

Author : Jessi Klein
Publisher : HarperCollins
ISBN 13 : 0062981617
Total Pages : 268 pages
Book Rating : 4.15/5 ( download)

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Download or read book I'll Show Myself Out written by Jessi Klein and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2022-04-26 with total page 268 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An instant New York Times bestseller, I'll Show Myself Out is the eagerly anticipated second essay collection from Jessi Klein, author of the acclaimed debut You’ll Grow Out of It. Longlisted for the PEN Diamonstein-Spielvogel Award for the Art of the Essay “Sometimes I think about how much bad news there is to tell my kid, the endlessly long, looping CVS receipt scroll of truly terrible things that have happened, and I want to get under the bed and never come out. How do we tell them about all this? Can we just play Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire and then brace for questions? The first of which should be, how is this a song that played on the radio?” In New York Times bestselling author and Emmy Award-winning writer and producer Jessi Klein’s second collection, she hilariously explodes the cultural myths and impossible expectations around motherhood and explore the humiliations, poignancies, and possibilities of midlife. In interconnected essays like “Listening to Beyoncé in the Parking Lot of Party City,” “Your Husband Will Remarry Five Minutes After You Die,” “Eulogy for My Feet,” and “An Open Love Letter to Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent,” Klein explores this stage of life in all its cruel ironies, joyous moments, and bittersweetness. Written with Klein’s signature candor and humanity, I'll Show Myself Out is an incisive, moving, and often uproarious collection.