The Funniest Things Ever Said New And Expanded

Author : Steven Price
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1493041207
Total Pages : 344 pages
Book Rating : 4.06/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded written by Steven Price and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2019-08-29 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said: “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”—Rita Rudner “I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.”—Malcolm Forbes “The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’”—Bill Maher

Author : Steven Price
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1493026291
Total Pages : 392 pages
Book Rating : 4.96/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Smartest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded written by Steven Price and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2017-04-03 with total page 392 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Smartest Things Ever Said is a compendium of human wisdom culled from the world’s most celebrated—and sometimes anonymous—minds. From Confucius and Shakespeare to Maya Angelou and Woody Allen, and from Winston Churchill and Thomas Edison to Jeff Bezos and Jane Fonda, it is quite simply the best collection of the smartest quotes ever.

Author : Steven Price
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1493029436
Total Pages : 352 pages
Book Rating : 4.33/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Dumbest Things Ever Said written by Steven Price and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2017-09-01 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.

Author : Steven Price
Publisher : 1001
ISBN 13 : 9781493041190
Total Pages : 344 pages
Book Rating : 4.93/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Funniest Things Ever Said New written by Steven Price and published by 1001. This book was released on 2019 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of the greatest witticisms from the world of politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can get a good laugh Here are a thousand and one laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There's something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue--from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,001 funniest things ever said: "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"--Christina Aguilera "Fame means when your computer modem is broken, the repair guy comes out to your house a little faster." --Sandra Bullock "Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his." --Ronald Reagan

Author : Jenny Lawson
Publisher : Flatiron Books
ISBN 13 : 125007701X
Total Pages : 352 pages
Book Rating : 4.11/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Furiously Happy written by Jenny Lawson and published by Flatiron Books. This book was released on 2015-09-22 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Furiously Happy, #1 New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. But terrible ideas are what Jenny does best. As Jenny says: "Some people might think that being 'furiously happy' is just an excuse to be stupid and irresponsible and invite a herd of kangaroos over to your house without telling your husband first because you suspect he would say no since he's never particularly liked kangaroos. And that would be ridiculous because no one would invite a herd of kangaroos into their house. Two is the limit. I speak from personal experience. My husband says that none is the new limit. I say he should have been clearer about that before I rented all those kangaroos. "Most of my favorite people are dangerously fucked-up but you'd never guess because we've learned to bare it so honestly that it becomes the new normal. Like John Hughes wrote in The Breakfast Club, 'We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it.' Except go back and cross out the word 'hiding.'" Furiously Happy is about "taking those moments when things are fine and making them amazing, because those moments are what make us who we are, and they're the same moments we take into battle with us when our brains declare war on our very existence. It's the difference between "surviving life" and "living life". It's the difference between "taking a shower" and "teaching your monkey butler how to shampoo your hair." It's the difference between being "sane" and being "furiously happy." Lawson is beloved around the world for her inimitable humor and honesty, and in Furiously Happy, she is at her snort-inducing funniest. This is a book about embracing everything that makes us who we are - the beautiful and the flawed - and then using it to find joy in fantastic and outrageous ways. Because as Jenny's mom says, "Maybe 'crazy' isn't so bad after all." Sometimes crazy is just right.

Author : Rosemarie Jarski
Publisher : Random House
ISBN 13 : 0091897661
Total Pages : 578 pages
Book Rating : 4.66/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Funniest Thing You Never Said written by Rosemarie Jarski and published by Random House. This book was released on 2004 with total page 578 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Whether for the loo or bedside entertainment or as a work of reference or self-improvement The Funniest Thing You Never Said is the best humorous quote book there is - a one-stop shop.

Author : Steven D. Price
Publisher : Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN 13 : 1599216566
Total Pages : 361 pages
Book Rating : 4.60/5 ( download)

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Download or read book 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, & Comebacks written by Steven D. Price and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2007-04-01 with total page 361 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.”—Groucho Marx An insult can be offensive and infuriating, but it means nothing if you have a better comeback. 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, and Comebacks gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources, with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, along with many others.

Author : Daniel Nayeri
Publisher : Chronicle Books
ISBN 13 : 1646140028
Total Pages : 372 pages
Book Rating : 4.22/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Everything Sad Is Untrue written by Daniel Nayeri and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2020-08-25 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A National Indie Bestseller An NPR Best Book of the Year A New York Times Best Book of the Year An Amazon Best Book of the Year A Booklist Editors' Choice A BookPage Best Book of the Year A NECBA Windows & Mirrors Selection A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year A Wall Street Journal Best Book of the Year A Today.com Best of the Year PRAISE "A modern masterpiece." —The New York Times Book Review "Supple, sparkling and original." —The Wall Street Journal "Mesmerizing." —TODAY.com "This book could change the world." —BookPage "Like nothing else you've read or ever will read." —Linda Sue Park "It hooks you right from the opening line." —NPR SEVEN STARRED REVIEWS ★ "A modern epic." —Kirkus Reviews, starred review ★ "A rare treasure of a book." —Publishers Weekly, starred review ★ "A story that soars." —The Bulletin, starred review ★ "At once beautiful and painful." —School Library Journal, starred review ★ "Raises the literary bar in children's lit." —Booklist, starred review ★ "Poignant and powerful." —Foreword Reviews, starred review ★ "One of the most extraordinary books of the year." —BookPage, starred review A sprawling, evocative, and groundbreaking autobiographical novel told in the unforgettable and hilarious voice of a young Iranian refugee. It is a powerfully layered novel that poses the questions: Who owns the truth? Who speaks it? Who believes it? "A patchwork story is the shame of the refugee," Nayeri writes early in the novel. In an Oklahoman middle school, Khosrou (whom everyone calls Daniel) stands in front of a skeptical audience of classmates, telling the tales of his family's history, stretching back years, decades, and centuries. At the core is Daniel's story of how they became refugees—starting with his mother's vocal embrace of Christianity in a country that made such a thing a capital offense, and continuing through their midnight flight from the secret police, bribing their way onto a plane-to-anywhere. Anywhere becomes the sad, cement refugee camps of Italy, and then finally asylum in the U.S. Implementing a distinct literary style and challenging western narrative structures, Nayeri deftly weaves through stories of the long and beautiful history of his family in Iran, adding a richness of ancient tales and Persian folklore. Like Scheherazade of One Thousand and One Nights in a hostile classroom, Daniel spins a tale to save his own life: to stake his claim to the truth. EVERYTHING SAD IS UNTRUE (a true story) is a tale of heartbreak and resilience and urges readers to speak their truth and be heard.

Author : Mickey McDermott
Publisher : Triumph Books
ISBN 13 : 1623681537
Total Pages : 265 pages
Book Rating : 4.31/5 ( download)

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Download or read book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cooperstown written by Mickey McDermott and published by Triumph Books. This book was released on 2003-04 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A memoir by the 1940s pitching sensation looks back at a career playing for thirteen teams in four countries from the 1940s to the 1960s.

Author : Kurt Andersen
Publisher : Miramax Books
ISBN 13 : 9781401352394
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.91/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Spy: The Funny Years written by Kurt Andersen and published by Miramax Books. This book was released on 2006-10-25 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Just in time for the 20th anniversary of Spy's creation comes the definitive anthology, inside story, and scrapbook. Spy: The Funny Years will remind the magazine's million readers why they loved and depended on Spy and bring to a new generation the jewels of its reporting and writing, photography, illustration, design, and world-class mischief-making. It will demonstrate Spy's singular niche in American magazine and cultural history. But it is also intended to be enjoyed on its own: one beautiful volume containing Spy's funniest and most creative work, along with the ultimate insiders account of how it all came to be. All the best is here: Separated at Birth; Naked City; The Fine Print; Logrolling in Our Time; the Blurb-o-Mat; those hysterical (and now ubiquitous) charts; the inside stories on the New York Times and Hollywood by J.J. Hunsecker and Celia Brady; the covers; investigative features; and the hilarious stories on pretty much everyone who was anyone during the late 80s and early 90s. Not to mention the often grisly but always entertaining regular cast of characters from Spy's pages -- the churlish dwarf billionaires; beaver-faced moguls; bull-whip-wielding uber-agents; knobby-kneed socialites; and, of course, short-fingered vulgarians. During its heyday, from 1986 through 1993, Spy broke important ground in journalism and design, defining smartness for its generation. It was a once-in-a-lifetime creation that shaped the zeitgeist and succeeded (for a while) against all odds. Spy: The Funny Years will be the fun, stylish, hilarious holiday gift of the year.