Were Just Like You Only Prettier

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
ISBN 13 : 1429908254
Total Pages : 292 pages
Book Rating : 4.52/5 ( download)

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Download or read book We're Just Like You, Only Prettier written by Celia Rivenbark and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2010-04-01 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "On the short drive to the preschool, I dutifully unwrap a NutriGrain bar and toss it into the back seat to my four-year-old. Sometimes I'll even unwrap one for myself. Studies have shown that it's very important for familes to eat together. . . . " Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes. What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When Daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again. What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on. Want to become honest-to-Jesus white trash? Spend two weeks' salary on hair extensions and pancake makeup for your three-year-old so she can win a five-dollar trophy in the Wee Tiny Miss pageant and the adoration of, well, nobody much. What does the Southern woman think of Paul McCartney's marriage to a model thirty years younger? We're not surprised. Statistically speaking, it's almost impossible for billionaires to discover that their soulmates are fifty-five and restocking the shampoo end caps at Kmart. In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the south she loves, the land of "Mama and them's," "precious and dahlin," and mommies who mow. Ya'll come back now, you hear.

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : Macmillan
ISBN 13 : 9780312339937
Total Pages : 284 pages
Book Rating : 4.33/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank written by Celia Rivenbark and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2006-09-05 with total page 284 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Author of the SEBA Book of the Year "We're Just Like You Only Prettier," Rivenbark's irresistibly hilarious essays explore the American South's glorious excesses and contradictions. These treasures are sure to leave readers hankerin' for more!

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : St. Martin's Press
ISBN 13 : 1250038413
Total Pages : 272 pages
Book Rating : 4.18/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Rude Bitches Make Me Tired written by Celia Rivenbark and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2013-10-22 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this always sensible and mildly profane etiquette manual for the modern age Celia Rivenbark addresses real-life quandaries ranging from how to deal with braggy playground moms to wondering if you can have sex in your aunt's bed on vacation to correctly grieving the dearly departed (hint: it doesn't include tattoos or truck decals). Rude Bitches Make Me Tired will provide answers to all your mannerly questions as Celia discusses the social conundrums of our day and age, including: Navigating the agonies of check splitting ("Who had the gorgonzola crumbles and should we really care?")The baffling aspects of airline travel (such as "Recline Monster" and other animals)The art of the visit (always leave them wanting more . . . much more)Gym and locker etiquette (hint: no one wants to talk to you while you're buck naked)Office manners ("Loud talkers, cake hawkers, and Britney Sue's unfortunate cyst")And much more! Good manners have never been so wickedly funny!

Author :
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 910 pages
Book Rating : 4.01/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Windsor Magazine written by and published by . This book was released on 1909 with total page 910 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 998 pages
Book Rating : 4.36/5 ( download)

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Download or read book McClure's Magazine written by and published by . This book was released on 1903 with total page 998 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 1018 pages
Book Rating : 4.21/5 ( download)

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Download or read book St. Nicholas written by and published by . This book was released on 1884 with total page 1018 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Author : Celia Rivenbark
Publisher : Macmillan
ISBN 13 : 9781429952019
Total Pages : 256 pages
Book Rating : 4.16/5 ( download)

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Download or read book You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning written by Celia Rivenbark and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2009-09-01 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as: • Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate • How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life • Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering • Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that? • Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time • Airlines serving up one hot mess • Action figure Jesus • Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter • And much more! Complete with a treasure trove of Celia's genuine southern recipes, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.

Author : Laurie Notaro
Publisher : Villard
ISBN 13 : 0812969014
Total Pages : 240 pages
Book Rating : 4.16/5 ( download)

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Download or read book We Thought You Would Be Prettier written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2005-04-19 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.

Author : Maria Louise Pool
Publisher : New York, Harper & brothers
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 328 pages
Book Rating : 4.28/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Mrs. Keats Bradford written by Maria Louise Pool and published by New York, Harper & brothers. This book was released on 1892 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

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Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 1208 pages
Book Rating : 4.40/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Good Housekeeping written by and published by . This book was released on 1923 with total page 1208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: