Readers Digest Dumb Dad Jokes

Author : Reader's Digest
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1621454452
Total Pages : 216 pages
Book Rating : 4.58/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Jokes written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-05-07 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is your dad funny? Is he funny looking? Just kidding. In the Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 6 to 106. "Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over." Most dads get their best material from their families. And that's what we have here: a collection of riddles, jokes, one-liners, hilarious anecdotes and pointed wit that see families for what they truly are--our chief source of amusement! Reader's Digest has a long tradition of providing our readers with laughter through our many columns in the magazine. This collection is pulled right from that humorous source. "Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world!"

Author : Editors of Readers Digest
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1621454827
Total Pages : 261 pages
Book Rating : 4.23/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Stories written by Editors of Readers Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-04-07 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Editors of Reader’s Digest present a hilarious collection of dumb people doing dumb things. Every day in America we are bombarded by stupidity; sometimes we just shake our heads, but most of the time we get a good laugh out of the really dumb things people do and say. In this collection of dumb stories we poke a little fun at the unbelievably dumb things that happen in our lives and have a good chuckle along the way. You’re a dumb criminal if…you’re not picky about your office locations. Christopher Exley of Everett, Washington, was arrested for conducting a drug deal over the phone—in the bathroom of the Everett Police Department. During my brother-in-law’s first performance review, his boss said, “I’m not quite sure what it is you do here. But whatever it is, could you do it faster?” --Jeanie Waara, Philip, SD In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. “Can’t find Brillo pads,” she wrote. “All they have are Tampax and Kotex.” --Kimberly Clark, Alpharetta, GA I overheard an elderly gentleman tell his friend that he couldn’t meet him the next day because he had to go to the hospital for an autopsy. His friend was sympathetic: “I had one of those last year. Luckily it wasn’t serious.” --Tracy Moralee, Hitchin, Great Britain

Author : Editors at Reader's Digest
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1621451909
Total Pages : 262 pages
Book Rating : 4.07/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Readers Digest Funny Family Jokes written by Editors at Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-10-21 with total page 262 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. "Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over." Reader's Digest has a long tradition of providing our readers with laughter through our many humor features. In the Reader's Digest Funny Family Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 9 to 99. We hope you and your family will take the time to read, share and laugh together. Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world.

Author : Line Brandt
Publisher : Cambridge Scholars Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1443853887
Total Pages : 640 pages
Book Rating : 4.80/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Communicative Mind written by Line Brandt and published by Cambridge Scholars Publishing. This book was released on 2013-11-04 with total page 640 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Integrating research in linguistics, philosophy, semiotics, neurophenomenology, and literary studies, The Communicative Mind presents a thought-provoking and multifaceted investigation into linguistic meaning construction. It explores the various ways in which the intersubjectivity of communicating interactants manifests itself in language structure and use and argues for the indispensability of dialogue as a semantic resource in cognition. The view of the mind as highly conditioned by the domain of interpersonal communication is supported by an extensive range of empirical linguistic data from fiction, poetry and written and spoken everyday language, including rhetorically “creative” metaphors and metonymies. The author introduces Cognitive Linguistics to the notion of enunciation, which refers to the situated act of language use, and demonstrates the centrality of subjectivity and turn-taking interaction in natural semantics. The theoretical framework presented takes contextual relevance, viewpoint shifts, dynamicity, and the introduction into discourse of elements with no real-world counterparts (subjective motion, fictivity and other forms of non-actuality) to be vital components in the construction of meaning. The book engages the reader in critical discussions of cognitive-linguistic approaches to semantic construal and addresses the philosophical implications of the identified strengths and limitations. Among the theoretical advances in what Brandt refers to as the cognitive humanities is Fauconnier and Turner’s theory of conceptual integration of “mental spaces” which has proved widely influential in Cognitive Poetics and Linguistics, offering a philosophy of language bridging the gap between pragmatics and semantics. With its constructive criticism of the “general mechanism” hypothesis, according to which “blending” can explain everything from the origin of language to binding in perception, Brandt’s book brings the scope and applicability of Conceptual Integration Theory into the arena of scientific debate. The book contains five main chapters entitled Enunciation: Aspects of Subjectivity in Meaning Construction, The Subjective Conceptualizer: Non-actuality in Construal, Conceptual Integration in Semiotic Meaning Construction, Meaning Construction in Literary Text, and Effects of Poetic Enunciation: Seven Types of Iconicity.

Author : Reader's Digest
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1621455971
Total Pages : 328 pages
Book Rating : 4.74/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Reader's Digest Laughter is the Best Medicine: All Time Favorites written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-04-05 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious collection of the funniest family-friendly jokes, quotes, stories, cartoons, and anecdotes from the past 100 years of Reader’s Digest magazine. A little chuckle every day will keep the doctor away. Editors have mined the Reader’s Digest archives to bring you Laughter Is the Best Medicine, All-Time Favorites, a collection of the most hilarious jokes and anecdotes we’ve come across over the years. As you turn the pages of our newest collection, you’ll realize once again that laughter is always the best medicine. If evolution really works, how come mothers have only two hands? –Milton Berle The game card said: “Name three wars.” My teenage daughter’s response: “Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Star Wars.” Keep your temper. Nobody wants it. –Dearborn Independent Check out this billion-dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, “I’m just cooking!” Anthropologists have discovered a 50-million-year-old human skull with three perfectly preserved teeth intact. They're not sure, but they think it may be the remains of the very first hockey player. –Jay Leno This collection of laugh-out-loud, clean jokes, one-liners, and other lighthearted glimpses of life—drawn from Reader’s Digest magazine’s most popular humor columns—is sure to tickle the funny bone. Packed with cartoons, quotes, quips, and stories contributed by professional comedians, joke writers, and readers of the magazine, this side-splitting compilation pokes fun at the facts and foibles of daily routines, illustrating that life is often funnier than fiction.

Author : Lisa Beth Johnson
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1645171884
Total Pages : 196 pages
Book Rating : 4.81/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Mom Jokes written by Lisa Beth Johnson and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-03-09 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The authors of Okay, Boomer deliver much-needed one-liners, puns, lists, and real-life tweets to lighten the load—and life—of moms everywhere. Moms need their laughs just as much as anyone, especially when they have to relieve the stress of cranky kids, oblivious spouses, and the challenges of balancing work and family while keeping it all together—at least on the surface! Mom Jokes is a collection of more than 300 snarky, sassy, and witty jokes for moms, such as . . . Every Mother’s Day my children make me breakfast in bed. Good thing I taught them how to make bottomless mimosas. What’s the difference between me when I’m nine months pregnant and a supermodel? Nothing, because my husband values his life. The good thing about going back to work after having kids is that you have your mom boss voice perfected. I thought my seven-year-old was mature enough to feed our goldfish—and he is—he just isn’t mature enough to know they don’t eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. From family life and the daily grind to food and entertainment, this collection of jokes nails the ups and downs of motherhood, giving moms light-hearted moments to get through the heavy lifting.

Author : Jeremy Brown
Publisher : Media Lab Books
ISBN 13 : 9781948174732
Total Pages : 176 pages
Book Rating : 4.31/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Official John Wayne Big Book of Dad Jokes written by Jeremy Brown and published by Media Lab Books. This book was released on 2021-04-13 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From giving as good as he got at the Harvard Lampoon to his comedic work in such films and TV shows as Donovan’s Reef, North to Alaska, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, I Love Lucy, Dean Martin Celebrity Roast and The Red Skelton Hour, John Wayne was never shy about exhibiting his wry, knowing sense of humor. It’s this facet of Duke that The Official John Wayne Big Book of Dad Jokes captures. A father of six children himself, Duke was no stranger to making kids crack up (or at least trying to). This book presents those stories of Duke as practical joker as well as willing victim, embedded within more than 400 clever, yet dreadful jokes, stories, riddles and puns, perfect for family members of every age. Some of the jokes are Duke- and Western-themed, but most are simply good, original Dad jokes: some good, some bad, some awful, but all funny. Readers will also find inside nearly three dozen fun photos of Duke exhibiting his good humor for all to see, laughing with his kids or fellow actors on set and behind the scenes, making this book a treasure for fans and fathers alike.

Author : Laughlovegift
Publisher :
ISBN 13 : 9781674418230
Total Pages : 58 pages
Book Rating : 4.3X/5 ( download)

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Download or read book You Might Be A Gardener If... 52 Humorous Observations About Life In The Garden written by Laughlovegift and published by . This book was released on 2019-12-12 with total page 58 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: They say laughter is the best medicine, and the "You Might Be A Gardener If..." clean joke book for adults is full of silly good fun that will have you shaking your head while laughing out loud. Written by a gardener for gardeners, no topic is off limits. From gardening skills, to garden compost and preserving the harvest, this comical book exposes it all. With an offbeat cover illustration that makes people want to peek inside, this book makes an excellent bathroom reader for dad, a hilarious gift for an adult friend, or the greatest evening of laughter together for an entire family. If you're looking for a wholesome gift that is laugh-out-loud funny, then look no further. Order your copy of "You Might Be A Gardener If..." TODAY!

Author : Jimmy Niro
Publisher : Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN 13 : 1728205301
Total Pages : 113 pages
Book Rating : 4.04/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Dad Jokes for New Dads written by Jimmy Niro and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2020-05-01 with total page 113 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The perfect Christmas gift for new dads and expecting fathers! A punderful resource of the funniest dad jokes that every dad needs in their arsenal! With over 500 brand new jokes on a range of topics to get dads ready to embarrass their children—and most importantly—embarrass them early, this laugh-out-loud book is a hilarious gift great for baby showers, holiday stocking stuffers, Father's Day, and beyond! From USA Today bestselling author Jimmy Niro, Dad Jokes for New Dads is a special edition joke book for new parents and soon-to-be fathers that celebrates dads with a full arsenal of dad jokes, silly quips, witty one-liners, and "helpful" pro tips to help them get by! A funny white elephant gag gift from any kid, wife, or partner to celebrate and prepare the new dad in their life! Includes knee-slappers like: Q: What did the big beer name its baby? A: Micro brew. I wrote a book about birds once. My publisher said it flew off the shelves! Dad Pro Tip #1: If the baby starts to spit up, turn it toward someone else.

Author : Editors of Reader's Digest
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 1606524003
Total Pages : 226 pages
Book Rating : 4.08/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Laughter, The Best Medicine: Those Lovable Pets written by Editors of Reader's Digest and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-02-02 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: People are funny, but so are the animals we love-and our day-to-day relationships with them can be even more entertaining. Dogs and cats obviously rule the comedic roost, but parrots, parakeets, and other talking birds are often an endless source of amusement as well. Even our connection to bunnies, hamsters, and the occasional white rat can evoke a good laugh. The 500-plus pet anecdotes, cartoons, and quotes in Laughter Is The Best Medicine: Those Lovable Pets have been collected from more than eight decades' worth of Reader's Digest magazines and are guaranteed to cheer up your day. You'll meet the woman whose dog trembled at the "Beware of Dog" sign in their front yard until she told him, "Relax! It's you!"; the vet whose advice to a woman whose cat had swallowed lots of unpopped popcorn was, "first, keep him out of the sun"; the mother-in-law who concealed her way-too-plump piglet's weight loss pills in ice cream; and much more. Our furry or fine feathered friends not only warm our hearts but also amuse us (and our joke writers, too) with their antics-one reason, no doubt, the market for this book is so vast: At the minimum, 40 percent of American households own at least one pet.