Dark Lord Schools Out

Author : Jamie Thomson
Publisher : Bloomsbury Publishing USA
ISBN 13 : 0802735231
Total Pages : 304 pages
Book Rating : 4.32/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Dark Lord: School's Out written by Jamie Thomson and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2014-02-04 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After acclimating to the inane customs of the blathering human fools, Dirk Lloyd has managed to make contact with his home in the Darklands. Unfortunately, his powers have betrayed him yet again. His new, and dare he say it, good friend Sooz has been transported to his Iron Tower of Despair, where she awaits what is sure to be a slow and painful end. Little does Dirk know that Sooz has formed her own alliances as the new Dark Mistress of his former kingdom. Dirk must find a way to get Sooz home, especially before his arch-nemesis Lord Hasdruban vanquishes Dirk once and for all. In this equally hilarious and clever sequel, Dirk attempts to regain his evil stranglehold on the Darklands and survive another year in school.

Author : Jamie Thomson
Publisher : Orchard Books
ISBN 13 : 1408316560
Total Pages : 274 pages
Book Rating : 4.66/5 ( download)

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Download or read book A Fiend in Need written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's other worldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime. And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.

Author : Jamie Thomson
Publisher : Orchard Books
ISBN 13 : 1408316552
Total Pages : 177 pages
Book Rating : 4.59/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The Teenage Years written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2011-10-06 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize! Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to. Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2 Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.

Author : Jamie Thomson
Publisher : Bloomsbury Publishing USA
ISBN 13 : 080273541X
Total Pages : 321 pages
Book Rating : 4.16/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Dark Lord written by Jamie Thomson and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2014-01-07 with total page 321 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Evil Dark Lord tries to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands when an arch-foe transports him to a small town, into the body of a thirteen-year-old boy.

Author : Jamie Thomson
Publisher : Orchard Books
ISBN 13 : 9781408330258
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.53/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Dark Lord 3 written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2014-05-13 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Fear me, o miserable worm! I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed... BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame -Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil -Torment by the Hewer of Limbs THE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!

Author : Jamie Thomson
Publisher : Orchard Books
ISBN 13 : 1408330288
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.89/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Eternal Detention written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2014-04-03 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Fear me, o miserable worm! I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed... BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame -Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil -Torment by the Hewer of Limbs THE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!

Author : Jamie Thomson
Publisher : Orchard Books
ISBN 13 : 140834565X
Total Pages : 0 pages
Book Rating : 4.58/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Dark Lord: 2: A Fiend in Need written by Jamie Thomson and published by Orchard Books. This book was released on 2017-02-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's otherworldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognize her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime. And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.

Author : Leo Valiquette
Publisher : Inkshares
ISBN 13 : 1950301281
Total Pages : 383 pages
Book Rating : 4.87/5 ( download)

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Download or read book Bane of All Things written by Leo Valiquette and published by Inkshares. This book was released on 2021-12-07 with total page 383 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A winner!” —Ed Greenwood, internationally-bestselling creator of The Forgotten Realms® In the Four Kingdoms, the Holy Clerisy preaches that the gods are dead, and prayer is the path to Hell. Anyone who defies doctrine is punished for heresy. But blind faith can damn a soul as surely as betrayal. Ryn Ruscroft, once sworn to serve as the Clerisy’s loyal soldier, finds himself torn between conscience and duty one bitter winter’s night. Those slain include his best friend, felled by his own hand. Josalind Aumbrae has been tormented all her life by the Voices and their visions—an affliction that could have her facing a witch’s pyre. If only she could understand what they want. Banished to Dragon’s Claw Abbey at the edge of the world, Ryn and Josalind discover a place built on more than penance and forgetting. What they find at the Claw will turn them into fugitives hunted by hellspawn, heretics, and Ryn’s former commander. But more sinister forces have awoken—ancient things eager to settle old scores and find pawns among the outcast. When they cry for vengeance, the Living Sword must have a hand to wield it. A mortal it can reshape into the Earth Breaker, the Soul Taker, the Bane of All Things.

Author : Naomi Novik
Publisher : Del Rey
ISBN 13 : 0593128494
Total Pages : 336 pages
Book Rating : 4.97/5 ( download)

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Download or read book A Deadly Education written by Naomi Novik and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2020-09-29 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of Uprooted and Spinning Silver comes the first book of the Scholomance trilogy, the story of an unwilling dark sorceress who is destined to rewrite the rules of magic. FINALIST FOR THE LODESTAR AWARD • “The dark school of magic I’ve been waiting for.”—Katherine Arden, author of the Winternight Trilogy I decided that Orion Lake needed to die after the second time he saved my life. Everyone loves Orion Lake. Everyone else, that is. Far as I’m concerned, he can keep his flashy combat magic to himself. I’m not joining his pack of adoring fans. I don’t need help surviving the Scholomance, even if they do. Forget the hordes of monsters and cursed artifacts, I’m probably the most dangerous thing in the place. Just give me a chance and I’ll level mountains and kill untold millions, make myself the dark queen of the world. At least, that’s what the world expects. Most of the other students in here would be delighted if Orion killed me like one more evil thing that’s crawled out of the drains. Sometimes I think they want me to turn into the evil witch they assume I am. The school certainly does. But the Scholomance isn’t getting what it wants from me. And neither is Orion Lake. I may not be anyone’s idea of the shining hero, but I’m going to make it out of this place alive, and I’m not going to slaughter thousands to do it, either. Although I’m giving serious consideration to just one. With flawless mastery, Naomi Novik creates a school bursting with magic like you’ve never seen before, and a heroine for the ages—a character so sharply realized and so richly nuanced that she will live on in hearts and minds for generations to come. The magic of the Scholomance trilogy continues in The Last Graduate “The can’t-miss fantasy of fall 2020, a brutal coming-of-power story steeped in the aesthetics of dark academia. . . . A Deadly Education will cement Naomi Novik’s place as one of the greatest and most versatile fantasy writers of our time.”—BookPage (starred review) “A must-read . . . Novik puts a refreshingly dark, adult spin on the magical boarding school. . . . Readers will delight in the push-and-pull of El and Orion’s relationship, the fantastically detailed world, the clever magic system, and the matter-of-fact diversity of the student body.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

Author : Soman Chainani
Publisher : HarperCollins UK
ISBN 13 : 0007492944
Total Pages : 411 pages
Book Rating : 4.47/5 ( download)

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Download or read book The School for Good and Evil (The School for Good and Evil, Book 1) written by Soman Chainani and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2013-06-06 with total page 411 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE SCHOOL FOR GOOD AND EVIL is now a major motion picture from Netflix, starring Academy Award winner Charlize Theron, Kerry Washington, Laurence Fishburne, Michelle Yeoh, Cate Blanchett, and many more! A dark and enchanting fantasy adventure for those who prefer fairytales with a twist. The first in the bestselling series.